Royal, Loving Detachment

today i feel like the Queen or King of Detachment–and seeing as Lordflea is anonymous, I’ll give you both. Here’s the King of Detachment:


the Big Guy strikes all negativity that infringes on his inner peace. he’s learned to set boundaries, and you better not step over them, or he’ll … well, he’ll bark at least!

and here’s the Queen of Detachment, serenely kind, lovingly unaffected by all:


i’m so glad i’ve learned how to detach. how, you ask? years ago i was suffering from the effects, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, of other people’s problems, specificially their addiction-to-negative-thinking and activing tendencies. this awareness — of how much other people affected my own inner state, my peace of mind, only became evident to me once i started working on my own addictions. everything started changing for me when i surrendered to my own addictions and went to the rooms of AA and started practicing the 12-steps of spiritual recovery. 

when the pain from of being affected by others became so great that i was told to go to Alanon, which is the “sister” program of AA (where you learn to deal with people who are addicted, rather than give up the addictions yourself). there, in Alanon, the major message they offer (besides “you didn’t cause it, you can’t fix it”–regarding another person’s messy existence)–is how to detach from negativity coming from outside your own self.

what i heard in Alanon was actually so simple it was unbelievable, but difficult to put into practice. Alanon teaches people to … “detach first with love–and if that doesn’t work, detach with an AX.”

you detach by learning to set boundaries. limits that others, and yourself, may not transgress, in order for one to maintain spiritual equilibrium.

this may seem extreme to those people who have never thought about how to protect yourself from others’ negativities…but if you’ve ever experienced anything like this …

conflict... how to resolve?

conflict... how to resolve?

… if you’ve ever been subjected to another person’s wrath, confusion, or sheer lunacy, you know you have to protect yourself from being affected negatively by something you have no power over.

 in other words, you must detach, or suffer the consequences of being sucked into others’ whirlpools of discontent, addictive mental tendencies, or — insanity.

yes, it’s always best to lovingly detach. tell the other person you can’t “go there”…can’t be involved in their negative thinking. but sometimes, and it’s happened to me recently, that’s why i’m sharing about it these last few days, other people INSIST you get involved with their warped way of thinking. sometimes you have no other choice … but to leave! or to emphatically create boundaries between you and the other, to maintain your own peace of mind, and … mental stability.

here is how i practice detachment type number #1 … detaching with love:

sending protective Light, heart to heart

sending protective Light, heart to heart

 quite often i don’t even have to “say” anything, i just “will” my energies protected from the other person’s negative vibes. this is the first line of defense when facing the onslaught of another’s attempting to control me.

but then…if this method of sending Love and Light doesn’t work, and the person, or the situation persists, and i feel myself being drawn into the trap of other’s warped perception…i take action! i take the advice from others i’ve learned from that i must detach with an AX!!! i must insist on boundaries that another person, or myself, cannot breach. in other words, i set firm barriers, whether physical, mental, speech-wise, or even psychically–that neither myself nor the other person, or “thing” cannot cross.

i’ve recently done a drawing that can illustrate this, although the reason i drew this picture is for an entirely different reason, which i’ll explain after you gaze at it for a moment. here’s how to detach with an AX, lordflea-style:

with Love as your motivation, always, learn to detach with an ax if you have to!

with Love as your motivation, always, learn to detach with an ax if you have to!

okay, enough about detachment, and on with the heights of human possibilities, through uninterrupted consciousness-up-grading. 

the above drawing i did for an entirely different purpose than illustrating detachment. i was struck by this quote that was in an article about the fabulously successful Brit artist, Damien Hirst, the guy who suspends dead animals (ghastly!) in huge glass tanks of formaldehyde (errrrrr, don’t know ’bout that kind of ahrt, folks! sounds more to me more like f-art “art,” the kitschy goochy gooey emperor’s new clothes-kind-of-art that seems to set back the spirituality of humanity by leaps and bounds).

here’s the picture again, with the caption that inspired me to draw it. see how it changes the way we look at things. all of life is based on our perceptions. that’s why it’s so important to try to see things from others’ points of view, and…if we don’t agree with them, we can then–yea yea you know–detach with love first, and then if that doesn’t work, detach with an ax.

here’s the other side of the lordflea heart-art coin:

you have to make art stronger than life so people can feel it. Like Franz Kafka says, "you have to take an AX to the froxen sea in people's heart."

you have to make art stronger than life so people can feel it. Like Franz Kafka says, "you have to take an AX to the froxen sea in people's heart."

i’d love to tell you the details of all that inspire me to share such things as detachment, reaching for your Higher Self, and all the other things i write about on Lordflea sings…but i wouldn’t want to bore you with the details. nothing special. same things that happen in your own life. just different names, different locations–that’s all.

in the Light, lordflea


  1. resa on April 6, 2011 at 7:53 am

    hello! =) im at the job at the moment, therefore i don’t have much time to write… nonetheless! I really enjoyed reading the article. It turned out to be a bunch of excellent stuff. thank you! All the best, resa

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