To Why? or Not to Why

Not 'Why me?' but 'Why Not?' image by teZa

Why Not Me? image by teZa

Recently I’ve come to the realization that being alive means something different to each one of us. Some people don’t even think about “what life means,” in fact. I find myself reflecting on this more and more, especially with the beginning of this third year of the Covid-19 pandemic, and now compounded by the circumstances surrounding my tendency to self-reflection, asking myself the big Why? of my recent femur-crown fracture.

Many of my friends say, “It’s just an accident!” about my broken limb, the largest of my body, causing interminable and absolute changes in my daily existence. Then there are others who agree when I say, “I’m contemplating what this damaging event that some call ‘accident’ might mean to me and how I live my life.”

Everything Has a Purpose

Earlier in my life I hadn’t bothered crossing my Ts and dotting my Is and functioned on a “first come first serve” basis. But then my spiritual life was ignited at the exact same time as I committed to living without steadily using crutches of all sorts. When I began to understand life as about having choices, I began to see things differently than when I used to think that life was something that happened to me. These are two very opposing ways of seeing things: either as a victim or someone who can choose how life feels to themself.

When a person suffers a drastic injuryΒ  (such as requiring pins and bolts surgery, morphine and all the rest of the pain and drug syndrome) it makes one think. I don’t, I can’t, I’ve tried but it just doesn’t work for me to think about having a major injury in a fall (hitting squarely upon a 2×6″ porch plank sticking out of the pit that wasn’t supposed to be there) as a free-from-karma innocent accident. An accident to me would be akin to describing how our cave man ancestors, for instance, accidentally allowed some of their meat to fall into the fire, thereby discovering how deliciously tender cooked flesh is, and easier to eat compared to raw.

Crashing hip-first into a hazard that wasn’t supposed to be there seems laughable, really, that it couldn’t be avoided. Or seen. Yet neither happened to me. Why? If I’m an aware person, shouldn’t I be able to stop from having such a stupid accident?

I have to ask myself that. Endlessly.

And here’s what I discovered upon asking this question to myself, no one else, but asking over and over the last weeks of my recovery.

All Things Happen For a Reason

Hogwash! I can hear my “accidents just happen” friends shouting. But I must ask them to be quiet for a moment and let me attempt to explain.

True, I did not originate the cause of what happened (and let’s substitute for accident right here, not just a bad fall, but anything that we don’t like yet can’t stop from happenings: a bad relationship, a sickness, an eviction, the Covid pandemic, etc). But even though I didn’t create the original source of displeasure (the construction pit I fell into, in my broken leg’s case) I participated in the crisis by not being aware enough to see it, and thus prevent falling into it and creating from my own energy force the disruption of my life, being immobile for quite some time.

I don’t doubt many people have thought of this situation. Not just for things that happen to us personally, but on the regional and global and inter-galactic scene too. Dealing with issues that affect us as a race of Beings, not just as one individual suffering. I broke my leg by participating in an event, a terrible event. Even though I was not the creator of the source, the apex of that pit, my un-awareness caused me to fall into it. And so too other events which alter our “normal” life-energy causing unpleasantness (or trauma) upon earth and its vulnerable inhabitants. Such things as:

Things Helpful to Own Up To As Being Ours

  • each and every person is responsible for their thoughts, either dirtying (hampering) the collective energetic atmosphere or keeping it in high vibrations (nurturing it)
  • every human is responsible for their space and setting uplifting, positive examples for others to follow: this includes courtesy, civility, kindness, joy and not negatives such as fear or anger or implacable stubbornness
  • people who are stubbornly not able to open to other possibilities besides their steadfastly known ones, collectively jam the frequencies of the infinitely diverse creative energy available to us all
  • thinking about “I’m Ok” instead of “We’re Ok” regarding how we view being human, could mean the difference between life or death in terms of the continued spread of lethal and every-adaptable, perkily transforming virus variables.

Thus, Please Reconsider Your Stance

I’ve had to reconsider my stance about my broken leg. Perhaps you can relate how it might be useful, or fun even, to “try on” another point of view in your own experiences. To me, my broken leg is no mere “accident” like spilling the milk or knocking over the vase of flowers are. Falling into a constructions pit created by another, was partially my fault as well. Five weeks now I’ve been forced to own up to my responsibility, slow down, watch each step I take, guardedly, take the strong pain meds I don’t want to, imagine the day when I’m able to walk normally, for more than a few minutes—and practice courage and patience. Two characters that were not my strong suits before.

I have grown. I am a better, more well-rounded person because of this trauma I’m suffering through.

Every single thing that happens to us, is for a reason.

Every single person we come in contact with, has a reason to be in our life.

Every so-called “bad” thing has to be experienced in order to take us to the place where we’re supposed to be—mentally, physically, spiritually—in our own life.

Our interwoven experiences make life what it is: LIFE, glorious life on this beautiful garden planet of ours, Earth.

I send my Love and Comforting Healing Vibes to each of you,


aka Lord Flea


  1. Cartie on February 8, 2022 at 8:34 am

    Way to go Toni

  2. Suz on February 8, 2022 at 7:17 pm

    Beautifully and courageously said, beautuful soul…i agree…πŸ™πŸ™πŸ’•πŸ’•πŸŽΆπŸŽΆπŸŒ πŸŒ πŸ’“πŸ’“πŸ™πŸ™

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